I Think I Own That

76 pages. Temps de lecture estimé 57min.
John Locke: Enlightenment philosopher, father of liberalism, inventor of “natural rights,” and accidental spiritual patron of land developers, libertarians, and your uncle who won’t shut up about property taxes.In this gloriously sarcastic takedown of one of Western philosophy’s most over-quoted minds, Sophia Blackwell (Kant You Not, No Self, No God, No Clue) guides you through Locke’s greatest hits—including:The blank slate theory, which basically says you’re born dumb and the world makes you worseHis ideas on identity, which collapse the second you forget your phone passwordHis version of consent, which mostly consists of “You didn’t leave, so I assume you’re fine with it.”And of course, property rights—where mixing your labor with the earth somehow makes it yours, and stealing land becomes morally correct as long as you bring a shovelLocke’s political philosophy inspired democracies, revolutions, and every 400-comment Reddit thread titled “Taxation is theft.”This is not a respectful biography.This is a roast. A eulogy. A survival guide for understanding how Locke gave us:LiberalismLandlordsLegal headachesAnd a political system that thinks fencing off a patch of dirt = moral superiorityPerfect for:Recovering philosophy studentsPolitical skepticsEnlightenment hatersProperty law survivorsAnd anyone who wants to laugh while questioning whether government is just a giant metaphor for a really passive-aggressive roommate agreementYou don’t need to read Two Treatises of Government.You just need to know Locke said, “I think I own that,” and people believed him.